I get A LOT of requests for assistance. While I prefer that people ask for help with a topic in an article I’ve already written and leave a comment, I am not adverse to people emailing me or filling out the contact form. Calling for free help, however, is pushing it.
Some say that I shouldn’t offer any free assistance but I disagree. People have answered my questions and helped me out, especially Jeff Starr and Stratos. When I first contacted Jeff Starr, however, it was about an article he had written – I didn’t just ask him random questions and expect him to answer. I was also very grateful and thanked him repeatedly. And Stratos helps me out quite a bit and, although he doesn’t want me to, I frequently pay him. And someone that you answer a quick question for might become a paying customer.
But, here’s the deal. There needs to be limits, respect and patience. And here’s an example of what not to do.
Questions and email requests for free assistance are not my top priority. Surprisingly, I need to do the work that I’m getting paid for first. Shocking, huh? I need to earn a living and I have client deadlines that I need to meet. But, I do attempt to answer every email even if it’s to say, “I’m sorry but that is complicated request. You can hire me blah, blah, blah.” I gather the emails and block out a time to reply. And this isn’t every day but I don’t think I’ve let more than three business days go by without replying. And, you know, considering I’m actually working here and I’m a single parent, that’s pretty damn good.
What Not to Do
Here’s an example of a help request that I received recently.
- Around noon I received an email asking a question about Facebook. I glanced at it quickly, saw that it wasn’t something that could be done on Facebook, and decided to answer it later.
- Less than two hours later, I received an voice mail from the individual that sent the email. Apparently, requests for free assistance should be answered in less than two hours …? I screen most of my calls. I answer calls from current clients and calls that have been scheduled. But when I’m working with code I can’t break stride and start talking on the phone. And there are a lot of people who will stay on the phone way too long – I don’t have time for that.
- I couldn’t believe this individual had called. I can see calling if days had gone by without an answer but if I had sent an email to someone asking for assistance and didn’t receive a response, I would assume the person was too busy and I highly doubt that I would have called. Also, this question was about Facebook. I have numerous Facebook articles and the question could have been left in the comments – I answer the comments EVERY DAY except not always on the weekend. I also have a Facebook fan page, which is a great place to ask questions. One reason is that if I’m not available there is a really good chance that another member of the community will answer the question – it happens all the time!
- So, I was super annoyed and decided I needed to get rid of this person. I sent back an email saying that what she needed wasn’t possible on Facebook. I also politely mentioned that I was very busy with my clients and normally couldn’t reply to requests that quickly.
- She immediately replied back and thanked me (you wouldn’t believe how many people don’t say thanks when you take the time to answer their questions) and then asked if I could refer her to a “Facebook expert” since I was unable to answer the question.
- At this point I was beyond annoyed – I was pissed and I should have just ignored the email but I wrote back and said, “Unfortunately, I am not a referral service for Facebook experts. If there is something that you would like done and it’s possible to do it on Facebook, feel free to inquire about my consulting services. My rate is $50/hr.”
- And guess what? I haven’t heard back ;-)
My Own Fault
This is just one example. Part of this is my own fault. I try to be kind and helpful and I understand what it’s like to be stuck and need assistance. The difference, however, is I’m not pushy about it and am never insulting. I have also not taken the time to write up an FAQ and policy. After I finish this article, that will be next on my to-do list. I don’t have high hopes that it will be read but I can send the link to people instead of fussing with them. It will tell how to ask for help and deal with off topic questions in the article comments (they won’t be answered anymore).
Of course, I have regular clients who ask me questions all the time. But they don’t harass me and they PAY me. So there’s a difference and I answer them as fast as I can.
And if someone takes the time to answer a question, write back and THANK them. It makes a really big difference.
I linked to this article in Sunday’s (Anti) Social Lists but decided to include it here as well. It is about the 3 types of people who will work for you for free.
photo credit: D3 San Francisco
I find myself falling to this way too often. I like to be helpful, and I’ve also found that it helps my skillset. But it gets insane. A few folks had developed a sense of entitlement to my time, and none of which offered to pay. I had a moment of clarity a while ago to simply cut these folks off. It was a difficult road to take, but it’s been worth it.
Hi Norcross – Entitlement is a very good word for it. How do you cut them off? Do you stop answering their requests? Do you let them know that you can no longer assist them?
It was a lot easier than I thought. When the next email / DM came in, I would send an email response stating that I had too much paid client work on my plate to look at their issue at this time, but if they wanted to have me look at it, I would be able to for my hourly rate. Of the 5 people that were doing it, 3 stopped getting a hold of me and the other 2 gladly paid me.
(sorry for the delay in my response, BTW)
.-= Norcross´s last blog ..Fizz Corp =-.
Hi Norcross – That’s a really good way to handle it – thanks :-)
LOL Kim – some people are so bloody cheeky. I don’t mind folk asking me for a little free help if I know them. But I often get requests for a lot of free help from people who have barely taken the time to know me at all and I tend to ignore them.
I gave free help to some little old lady a few years ago and she tried to screw me out of £2500. Never again.
.-= Cath Lawson´s last blog ..I’m Back But I Forgot An Important Lesson =-.
Hi Cath – I don’t mind helping out but only when I have the time. And I especially don’t mind questions from people I work with. It’s just the audacity of some of these people.
Kim, Your blog alone (like mine) gives tons of free advice on what to do and what not to do. You give amazingly, well-written, instructions for anyone to follow for so many things. I get people like that too who want a free resume critique. I don’t offer them online and only occasionally do them. In February, I did 24 critiques at a job fair for a college, mainly to older workers. None of them became clients… no surprise! And you just reminded me of a rewrite I did for someone who didn’t pay in advance and he has never paid for it. I would guess that became a donation.
People who want free don’t value you. Go ahead with the FAQ on the site and be done with it. You need to pay your bills.
Thanks for all you have done for me and I will continue to hire you!
.-= Julie Walraven | Resume Services´s last blog ..When Depression Takes Over =-.
Hi Julie – I didn’t end up doing the FAQ yet because I wasn’t feeling well but I hope to finish it soon.
It’s hard when you are a helpful person by nature.
It’s true that there are a number of articles here with precise instructions. I get emails sometimes that say “It didn’t work”. Well, if you need some help, I need a little bit more information than that. ;-)
I made my ‘about’ page on my site say ‘DON’T call me for help!’ because of these people. I had one guy email me and say that he’d noticed I hadn’t posted in his thread and could I help him. My email was not public on that board, although my URL was. He went to my site, read around, found my email and deicded to just ask me anyway.
I replied that I hadn’t posted because I didn’t have an a answer, and by the way, protocol on that board is to NOT email people unless they say ’email me.’ He got lippy and said I was bitchy. I pointed out ‘If you think I’m bitchy NOW, wait till you get me pissed off.’
Unsolicited emails for help are right up there with phone calls from my family at 1am. Only emails I can tell them to sod off like a pack of monkeys. If you REALLY need more help than I (or others) provide on a free forum, well … I point people here and tell them to open their wallets. ;)
.-= Ipstenu´s last blog ..The Latest Malware Malfeasance =-.
Hi lpstenu – Well, I do have my phone number – I thought I should make it as easy as possible for people who want to hire me to contact me – although it does have it’s downside.
Do you just ignore emails asking for help? I would really prefer that that they just leave a comment – but then you get the people who ask completely unrelated questions.
And I’ve already told you about the person who followed my URL, got my contact information and then asked me out even though he lives across an ocean ;-)
Yes, you definitely need to draw the line. It’s amazing how many times people have emailed me to ask for help, sometimes seeking rather complex explanations, only to get their answer and never acknowledge it.
I’ve no problem helping friends and clients or even some readers who have actually commented at my blog before, so long as I’m not busy, but I’m not going to waste my valuable time. These types who don’t respect your boundaries are thieves – time vampires who are stealing either your money-making time or your family time. In either case it’s unforgivable.
I’m with you on the hourly quote. It’s the only way to demand that people respect your time and business … they wouldn’t go to a mechanic and ask them for a freebie, would they?
Hi Blogger Dad – Seriously, is it so hard to for them to write back and say thank you? Although email can get clogged with those types of emails ;-)
Time vampires is a really good term for it.
Looks like this problem is widespread.
Great article! And I would say that Jeff Starr is a top shelf class A Numero Uno type fellow. I have gained a great deal of help through his writing
Er…albeit freely
Hi Shiva – Jeff is awesome. But, still, I have never asked him a question unrelated to an article that he wrote or demanded that he answer me faster. I was following him on twitter and actually asked him if it was ok to email him before I did.
Way back he told me I was one of the nicer people he had encountered online. At the time, I thought that was really odd. After dealing with a lot more people, I now know what he meant.
Well you know Kim it’s always my pleasure answering questions, especially yours… I have had my share of imbeciles but i just don’t reply after a while… You just hang in there ;)
.-= stratosg´s last blog ..Twitter’s RT vs everything else =-.
Hi Stratos – You are awesome! And you’ve saved the day for me so many times :-)
Kim – The good news here is that you are not alone. ;-)
I take a lot of “free calls” if I like the organization and if I think that clarifying their problem / solution might be useful for others in the form of a blog post.
But if I get even the slightest whiff of entitlement or disrespect, I politely refer them to Facebook support (good luck!).
Everyone has their line. It’s good that you respect yours.
John
.-= John Haydon´s last blog ..How to search Facebook status updates (video) =-.
Hi John – It seems that this problem is a lot more widespread than I realized.
Referring people to Facebook support – that’s a good one ;-)
You also give away a lot of valuable information and it kills me that people than expect even more.
I’ve only been reading for a week. Learned tons.
I should have said it sooner. Thank you.
Hi Doug – I don’t expect people to thank me for the articles I’ve written. But if I do provide extra assistance, saying thanks would be the polite thing for them to do.
Thanks!
You tell ’em Kim. Dead right.
Hi Pete – LOL – thanks :-)
I totally get it!
“I’m sorry but that is complicated request. You can hire me etc.” – I think this should be your standard response to the vast majority of inquiries.
.-= vered – blogger for hire´s last blog ..Coping With Motherhood =-.
Hi Vered – Maybe I’ll just make a template email and send it off ;-)
I’m a regular client and I ask for help all of the time. I’m sooooo grateful for your help and knowledge. You’ve saved me a million times! Everyone else should start paying because you are worth it and shouldn’t be doing a lot of work for free!
Thanks Kim!
.-= Sommer´s last blog ..Want to win a Hybrid? =-.
Hi Sommer – People like you are awesome :-)
Thanks!
Thank you for saying this. I am now debating whether to email this post to several select people. LOL!
.-= Karen´s last blog ..My Facebook for Business Checklist =-.
Hi Karen – You could also send them the link to the article about the three types of people who will work for free ;-)
Kim you are dead on. I haven’t asked you a lot of questions but the few I have, you answered faster than i expected, and any answers I get from anyone that are free I am grateful for. I’m pretty sure i said thanks, but Just in case, Thank you, as always! I am a firm believer in beggars can’t be choosers. Next time someone calls you or gives you hell, get their address and send them some poo, That should get the message across!
Hi Neil – I don’t think you’ve ever contacted me directly. Comments are different, if they pertain to the article ;-)
Lol at the poo. Looks like as much fun as a glitter bomb.
How I love articles that can make me laugh and cry at the same time. Not to push anyone else aside, but if there’s one person that can relate, it’s me.
I’ve never actually charged for advice, questions, whatever. I didn’t think I was worthy of “consulting”, it was just something I did/do for fun.
Gotta say, gettin’ tired of it; being taken advantage of and so forth. I’ve been chatting with someone lately about possibly doing the professional consulting thing.
This is turning into a really long comment, and not really other peoples business (no offense lol), so I am going to cut/paste the request I just wrote into your contact form.
Ironic, ain’t it? lol
.-= Dennis Edell | Direct Sales Marketing´s last blog ..Oops I Lied-HAHA =-.
Hi Dennis – I guess it depends on how much time it takes up and how valuable it is. I know that I asked you a question before ;-)
If I made someone laugh and cry than my job here is done ;-)
Is this in response to my contact form question? I don’t see the fit here. lol
.-= Dennis Edell | Direct Sales Marketing´s last blog ..10 Social Share Sites Chosen – Do You Agree? =-.
No – I answered that.
My personal favorite:
“…and then asked if I could refer her to a “Facebook expert”
Nothing like asking the Facebook expert for a Facebook expert referral!
We manage several real estate properties and we too get asked for a lot of free advice. We in turn give it freely as it is our nature. We had one ‘friend’ who we mentored with their rental property for a couple years, turn around and use another real estate agent to sell their property we helped them with over the past couple of years. That one certainly irked us.
[end of venting] :)
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..Homes For Sale In The Pasco Washington School District =-.
Hi Colleen – I wouldn’t call myself an expert but no one was going to be able to help – what she wanted to do isn’t possible. I still haven’t heard back ;-)
That “friend” stinks – very uncool.