This photo is of my friend Stan. At first, you might look at his t-shirt and think it means something crude. But, if you knew Stan, you wouldn’t think that. Stan is the best listener, the most positive, one of the happiest people I know. What’s for rent by the hour are his listening skills, and he won’t even charge you. Actually, he might even give you free coffee.
Stan works at my favorite coffee shop. I first got to know him last winter when I was going through the hardest part of my life that I’ve had so far. I was floundering, trying to get through each day and I’m sure I looked miserable. I would stop in to get coffee between work and picking up my daughter. Stan looked at me one day, pulled me aside, and started talking to me. At that point I didn’t really know him – I just knew he was one of the guys who worked there. He told me that it would get better. And he listened. I told him everything. And he listened.
Stan listening was probably the first step in me becoming more confident and believing in myself again. I didn’t happen immediately – that was January and now it is almost October – but I will be forever grateful.
So, what does this have to do with anything? Well, (Anti) Social Development is a little different. I’m excited and nervous and sometimes I still doubt myself. With some encouragement from others and belief in myself, I have decided to start freelancing and utilize some of my blogging, WordPress, technical and social media skills. There is now a portfolio of sites that I’ve worked on, a list of services, a new about page, and if you’re really bored, my resume.The blog is still the front page and everything looks basically the same except for the navigation categories, and some ads (I’m not sure how I feel about the big pink wrinkle cream ad). If you go to one of the other pages, the header, sidebar and footer are different than they are on the blog. (I’m thinking of writing an article on how to do this).
But I haven’t taken a total leap. I’ve started earning a little from this endeavor but not enough yet to leave my full time job. And right now, it’s hard. It’s like I have 3-4 jobs. It’s worth it though. It’s something I really want to do and I finally believe in myself enough to try
I still get the twinges of doubt though. What have I done? What will people think of me? Am I good enough? I just have to push those thoughts aside and tell myself that I can do it and that I am talented.
What began with a guy named Stan listening to me is now the new (Anti) Social Development.
So, tell me? Do you believe in yourself? Do you have a dream that you hesitate to realize? What do you really, really want to do?
That’s a fantastic anecdote about Stan. Thanks for sharing! He sounds like a great fella. And it’s good to be reminded that listening is always an important thing to do, no matter how seemingly small.
Hi Mark,
Well, you’re local. Go to Bucks County Coffee (soon to be Zacbees, unfortunately) at 40th/Locust and he might just be there :-)
Seriously, thanks!
Stan seems like one of those people that just pop into your life, and your life is changed forever. What a gift!
Good luck on your new direction. You’ve got the ability. Despite the extra work right now, it will come out good for you!
Mike Nichols’s last blog post – Questions and Answers: Antidepressants for Anxiety Disorders
Of course you’re good enough.
I have only known you for a short time and I completely believe in you.
Good luck, Kim. Luck never hurts, you know. :)
Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post – 10 Bizarre Ads: What Were They Thinking?
Hi Kim,
After seeing how far your site has come in the last few months and knowing how talented, resourceful and dedicated you are, I have no doubt you will be a great success in this next chapter of your life.
To answer your question, I sometimes daydream but I don’t think I’ve quite realized if I have a concrete idea of a dream yet that I want to fulfill in life. I often doubt myself in general but luckily I have a really great friend who helps me to get through those feelings.
Another awesome article, and keep up the great work!
Ron Obvious’s last blog post – I wish I was 5 again and playing with my Castle Grayskull.
@Mike – Stan is remarkable. Like I said in the article, when he first talked to me he didn’t know anything about me other than that I was a regular customer. I feel so lucky to know him.
Thank you so much for your encouragement! It sure is a lot of extra work right now but I’m happy and enjoying myself. I could use some more sleep but I think we all feel that way.
@Vered – Thank you so much! That means so much to me. You have been so encouraging with your support, visits and comments.
@Ron – Ok, I’m calling out Ron here. He isn’t named after a Monty Python character- his name is Jim and he is one of the best friends I’ve ever had. He’s one the only person who visits this site that I know in real life – I knew him in real life first. I’ve known Jim for 3 years and we used to work together.
Jim has supported me and encouraged me. He got me to start this site and has read every single article. In the beginning he even proofread my articles before I posted them. Whenever I doubt myself he talks me out of it. He watches soccer with me and entertains my daughter when I have work to do or if I need to take a nap.
So, Jim, thank you! And I believe in you too :-) I know you’re still finding your way and have made SO much progress in the last 3 years. I know you’ll fulfill your dreams.
Kim,
I don’t know you in person but if you are the same person online as you are in person (I’m sure you are) then you’re pretty darn swell. Talented as well and I can say this because I’ve hired you!!! I’ll continue to hire you. Your worth ethic, integrity, skills, and kind personality have really made a difference in working with you.
We all need a Stan in our life. Sometimes, we don’t realize how much we need a listener. How much we need to talk and be heard. Get stuff off our chest. It’s amazing how doors open when we least expect it. Good for you, taking the leap. Jumping for the stars doesn’t mean you won’t land on your feet. Trust me, I can relate to the working many jobs. You’ll be fine if it is making you happy and giving you a purpose. Just don’t stop believing. The ads and the changes look great!
Kim, your talent might be in blog publishing and design but your talents in saying what you feel in writing are what are going to spread the reading of your blog. The people I follow in blogs all have that personal touch that makes me want to know what they will say next. I tripped over your blog because somehow I got to InkThinker (Kristen King’s blog) I think that might have been a lead from Jason Alba (JibberJobber). Jason is the one who started me following blogs in the first place.
Following your dream is what I have spent my life helping others to do but then I still hold back myself. I make excuses as to why I can’t move forward and procrastinate until the opportunity passes by. But you are motivating me to stop procrastinating.
Your new blog format is great. Blessings on moving forward!
Kim,
Thanks for introducing Stan and your professional offerings as well… With your passion and technical expertise, I am sure that you will continue to excel. Wishing you all the best !
(I wanted to read your resume but it seems that’s only for authenticated users – nevamind)
Cheers,
Ajith
PS: I hope you won’t charge me for clarifying one or two doubts here and there via email :)
Ajith Edassery’s last blog post – Make your blog look great on any browser – even on mobile
Hi Kim,
Congrats on branching out on your own! I know it’s scary.
I highly recommend you browse through and talk to Tom Volkar at Delightful Work — and even take his workshop on finding a business sweet spot. He’s just the guy to talk to for someone like you.
ari
Ari Koinuma’s last blog post – 5 Ways to Self-Produce Unconditional Love and Heal Yourself (Digest)
@ Sommer – Thank you :-) I really don’t know what else to say … you guys are going to make me cry …
@Julie – Thank you! I don’t usually write about personal stuff – just a couple of articles. People do seem to respond to it. I’m still more likely to write about blogging and WordPress but I’ll keep what you’ve said in mind. Thank you so much for saying that I am helping to motivate you. :-)
@Ajith – Thank you so much for your kind words.
I fixed the resume problem. It shouldn’t have been password protected – I was linking to my staging site, which is password protected. (And I guess you were really bored :-)
And, of course, I will continue to answer questions :-) That’s why I’m writing here.
@Ari – Thank you! It is scary. If I didn’t have my daughter to worry about, I would just leave my FT job and devote all my energy to this new endeavor but I can’t put her in that risky of a position. And thank you for reminding me about Tom – I keep meaning to head back over to his site.
Kim,
Thanks for the comments over at tumblemoose.
I spent a little time on your site today and thoroughly enjoyed the visit.
This post of yours is smashing. Very heartfelt and real. Kudos!
George
Tumblemoose’s last blog post – Yikes! I HAVE to Quit my Day Job!!
Thanks George!
I don’t usually write anything too personal but people seem to respond to it so I may start doing so more frequently.
Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hi!
Hi,
Stumbled your blog.
Nice post. I really agree with you that we must believe in ourselves.
All the best for your future undertaking. May you achieve success and happiness in whatever you are doing.
kuanhoong’s last blog post – Games : Nintendo launches New Game, Wii Music
Hi kuanhoong,
Thank you so much! I really appreciated it. And I am so glad that you enjoyed the article.