I spent too much of my life being shy and missed out on things that would have been fun because I was too inhibited to give new experiences a chance.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve become less shy and don’t really care so much what other people think. I do wish, however, that I had learned this at a younger age.
Thanks to Betsy I discovered this video a couple of days ago. We could all learn how to let loose and just enjoy ourselves from this older woman who really seems like like electronic music. It’s suprising because we forget that older people were ever young and this woman seems to have retained the wonder and free-sprited feeling of being a child.
What do you think? This video just makes me smile. Are you outgoing or are you more reserved? Do you think being shy can impact your life in a negative way?
photo credit: adwriter
Hi Kim – I just love this video. She’s got the moves down! And you’re right, her lack of inhibition is enviable to many, not just the overly shy.
I think we’re all self-conscious at some point or another, but full-blown shyness takes that to a new level. I remember reading somewhere that choosing to be shy is a way of exerting control over a dynamic – although when I’ve felt shy I never felt control in a situation. I think they meant that the shy person is looking for solicitous attention, or that the group should be overly concerned about whether they’re having a good time or taking extra steps to accommodate the shy person. I don’t know; I have mixed feelings about that assessment.
It seems to me that some kids are more naturally reticent and unsure, and others stride boldly into the world knowing exactly who they are. If shyness holds one back from truly experiencing the joy and wonder in life for fear (of what, exactly?) then the best we can do is demonstrate by our own actions that it’s okay to take the plunge.
This woman is in a marvelous place – and I’m grateful the music is far too loud and energetic for her to hear the comments of the bystanders.
.-= Betsy Wuebker´s last blog ..LOCAVORES, MORE AND MORE =-.
Hi Betsy – I disagree that we choose to be shy. I think we are either born that way or not. When I was a kid it was horrible. I didn’t really get over it until my daughter was born – there’s nothing like having 10 residents staring at you during childbirth to get over being shy. I still am a little but I mostly don’t care anymore.
I still can’t really just relax and start dancing though …
I don’t think she cares what people are saying – and if they are saying anything mean than shame on them.
Jinx day for us :-)
This post really struck a chord.
People laugh when I tell them I was shy as a youngster, but even now I don’t dare do some things I really ought to be able to handle at my age.
I saw this little idiom on a sign in a store the other day: “It’s never too late to be the person you always should have been”
So, now that I’ve got my new guitar, just watch out for me on MTV…
Hi David – I would have never thought that you were shy … I’m in the same boat – people who know me really well don’t believe I’m shy at all but at times I still am – even over silly things. Today I walked into a bar to buy a concert ticket and I felt really shy and awkward when I was asking the bartender for it. Kinda stupid but it happens.
sorry. no can do. i always think people are watching. isn’t there a phobia for me because of that. i would love to go out and dance like no one is watching. too chicken. at home and sometimes in front of the windows i do. my neighbors get quite a show.
one day when i go to another country and no one knows me. i’ll break out my dance like no one is watching moves. how sad.
Hi Valerie – I don’t think I could ever cut loose like that woman either. Alex and I have crazy dance parties sometimes but only at home ;-)
Awesome. I love watching this video!
Thanks for sharing it with me and thanks to Betsy for passing it along originally. :-)
Hi Jim – It’s wonderful. I can watch it over and over. And it totally made my day last week.
I’m naturally reserved too, but I agree – a wonderful side effect of growing older is that you care less and less about what others think about you.
.-= vered | blogger for hire´s last blog ..A Beautiful Winter Poem, and a Rant on SEO =-.
Hi Vered – It’s probably the best thing about getting older :-)
Thanks for sharing this video. It is really good. Still not sure I would go this far, but as I continue to mature, I am freer than when I was younger. I had a very adult childhood so letting go does not come easy in public. My husband finds it odd that I will speak in front of 300+ people but I won’t sing karaoke. I guess I should practice so I feel confident. If I told people that I was shy as a child and young adult they would laugh-out-loud. I had to work on being able to speak in front of large groups. Remember we are never perfected. We get to keep working on ourselves our entire lives.
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Hi Pat – I was very grown up as a child too – I seem to become more of a kid each year that I get older :-) It’s funny what we will or won’t do when we are shy – maybe speaking is related to business so is necessary but karaoke is “fun” so you don’t have to do it.
I’ve never done karaoke either.
I do consider myself shy in some ways. I was an art model (nude model) but I could never speak in front of a crowd. I’ve done things much more revealing than art modeling, but it took me years before I was comfortable blogging and having people read what I write. I guess when it comes to the physical, its easy for me to express myself, but anything from the mind or heart, I have a much harder time with.
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Hi Carla – It’s interesting to be shy about some things but not others. Way before I ever had a blog I rarely commented on other ones because I thought my comments would be stupid. Sometimes it seems so silly because most people don’t care what we do.
Kim,
I could reflect myself much the same way. I remained a shy person most of my schooling/college days though I had certain skills. Due to the village setup where I was raised, I had stage fright during childhood and could not really compete with many city born kids (when it comes to presentations, speeches) in college. I had to change myself big time after college to remain competitive in the industry where I work. Fortunately, I could change myself big time with some confidence building measures and during 20s I became a more outgoing type of personality.
Having said, that in my late 30s now I am going back into a self created shell due to various challenges that life has thrown at me. It’s now about the family and not much going out.
I do not want the same to happen to my child and I make sure that he does not develop stage fright etc. I also encourage him to participate in all types of activities and events and hopefully he will not be another Ajith.
(I forgot to mention my father – having brought up in a family that did not have money to buy three meals a day, he did exceptionally well for a person of his generation. He was good at speeches, amateur acting and shined as an organizer and leadership roles)
.-= Ajith Edassery´s last blog ..Queryads – A Google AdSense Alternative =-.
Hi Ajith – It sounds like your father was really outgoing and had quite a personality.
It might be now that circumstances have forced you to be more of a homebody but that you really aren’t shy.
It’s great that you are encouraging your son. I don’t believe that we make our children shy though – I do believe we are born that way. When I was a kid people did think it was due to parenting and my mother tried so hard to help me be less shy.
I used to be extremely shy, and I’ve gotten better over the years, but I’m still very reserved. I also disagree with whoever said that shyness is a choice. In my case, I wanted to be invisible, not control things. I had very low self-esteem and didn’t want anyone to interact with me and find out how awful I was. I certainly didn’t want “solicitous attention” — that would have made me run out of there.
I was at a holiday party shortly before my 60th birthday and got drunk and was able to dance, though not as freely as that woman, just celebrating the fact that I’d made it this far.
Hi Dot – I think I’m finally starting to understand the appeal of alcohol ;-) It does help us loosen up. And turning 60 is a huge deal and we should be able to do whatever we want at the party. Even when I drink though, I rarely dance.
yes. hesitation is the enemy of happiness.
Hi – Being shy hasn’t exactly made me unhappy but it has stopped me from doing things that would probably be fun.
Hi Kim, this is very interesting video. For doing any good things i am not feeling shy. So you should not feel shy while doing any good things.
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Hi – I’m trying to be less reserved but it’s unlikely that you will find me dancing as freely as that woman ;-)
Hi Kim, It’s good what’s your thinking. :)
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I am an introvert type of person, and shyness is the cousin of introverts. People sometimes call me ant-socialist. Before I do any type of dance moves I have to check my surroundings to see who is watching. Recently I have been reading some Buddhist texts which state that we spend too much time thinking and hesitating instead of just doing and actioning our thoughts. Thoughts manifest into reality if actionable steps are taken.
.-= Chebu @ Ladybug Costumes´s last blog ..Infant Ladybug Costumes =-.
Hi Chebu – I think that is the primary problem – we overthink things and worry about what other people will think. I’ve found that most people don’t care and aren’t paying attention anyway.
I couldn’t agree more that you should Dance Like No One is Watching b/c when i dance when no one is watching, I have so much fun. But when I am public, it’s a little more difficult…I have to pretend like no one is there.
.-= Jim´s last blog ..Top Dance Songs =-.
Hi Jim – I’m the same way. The kid and I have crazy dance parties all the time but I can’t dance the same way in public.
Nice subject! You gotta let go of your shyness, that stuff will just give you a life of regret and no memories! If you think you can’t dance do anything you can to give you the confidence, go to dance classes, whatever (except maybe not drink, like most of us do :-)
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Hi Jack – It seems that shy people, however, are born that way and perceive the world differently – it might not be something they can control. But, I’ve found that my shyness has decreased as I’ve grown older.
Wonderful video!
For most of my life I’ve been afraid of people judging me. I’m not sure what changed, but recently I just don’t give a sh!t anymore. I dance and sing however I feel and wherever I happen to be when I’m so inclined. I only wish it hadn’t taken me 40 years to get here.
What’s the worst that can happen, someone might laugh? Screw ’em.
Hi Brent – Isn’t that the funny thing about growing older? You suddenly stop caring what others think and really do wonder what you were so worried about all those years. It’s liberating.
sometimes we need to put out all the things we used to hold back.. just like that one
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